If you could choose between being the weight you are right now for the rest of your life no matter how much or little you exercise and eat well or be able to loose weight by working hard but also run the risk of gaining weight what would you choose? Sometimes I ponder this while in the middle of a hard workout.
I read an article my cousin Whitney posted on Facebook about how we judge a woman’s body based on weight and BMI and how inaccurate that is(read it here, its worth the read.) The world has made a ideal women (tall, skinny, flat chested) that is unrealistic. Health and beauty is so much more than a number on a scale. I have always thought that I believe this and that would never fall into the trap of comparing my body to others. And I mostly don’t.
I have worked really hard to get back into shape since having Nellie. I walk about 30 miles a week, run up and down stairs at the park and eat healthy. But I haven’t been able to get back to the weight I was before I had her. I have about 15 pounds that don’t seem to want to go away. And it has been bugging me. And it bugs me that it bugs me.
I have an amazing body that does everything I need it to. I can run and chase my kids. I can enjoy hiking. I can lift heavy boxes and put them on the top shelf in the garage. I have a strong heart that keeps my blood pumping. There aren’t any activities that I want to do that I can’t because my body isn’t in good enough shape. The only reason I want to loose more weight is because I think I will look better.
And when I type that out it feels ridiculous. What do I want to look like? Do I think I should look like the 19 year old girl I was before I had kids? Do I think I should look like the woman who loves exercise and has 2 hours a day to workout and be super slim and toned? Should I look like the lady who is naturally skinny and probably always will be?
I want to be happy looking like me. Like a busy mom who likes to exercise but doesn’t always have enough time. Like someone who eats healthy but likes to have an ice cream cone with her kids occasionally. Like someone who is strong and happy with the amazing body she has been given.
I am going to keep exercising and eating healthy, but I am going to try and do it more for the right reasons. I will walk in the morning because it gives me more energy and makes the rest of my day better. I will drink green smoothies because I like them and its is an easy way to get in veggies and nutrients I need to be healthy. I might loose some more weight. I might not and I am going to try really hard not to care.
Does anyone else struggle with this? How can we help women and girls care more about being healthy and strong rather than worrying about a number on a scale? What do you do to be happy with what you look like right now?